How to Make a Comeback in Life (Part 2)
Maintain a positive attitude. It’s important to stay upbeat and energetic as you move toward your comeback. Though this may seem impossible, especially if you’re coming from a really bad place, the more you work on facing every day with a smile on your face instead of feeling beat up or complaining, the more likely you’ll be to get what you need. Instead of complaining, talk about the good things in life, the ones you are looking forward to. Though it’s okay to vent once in a while, dwelling on the negative aspects of your life will only make it harder for you to overcome them.
- Spending time with happy, upbeat people can also help you keep your own attitude positive. If you spend time with someone who only sees the worst in any situation, you are much more likely to feel the same way.
Keep your confidence up. Of course, it’s easy to be down on yourself when you have to rebuild your whole life, but you have to remember the things you love about yourself, instead of the ones you need to work on. Though it’s important to recognize your flaws and to work on the ones you can work on, it’s also important to remember all of the reasons you love yourself, and all of the things that make you awesome. Make a list of all your positive traits and the things you excel in. Work to make that list longer and longer, through your words and deeds.
- One way to boost your confidence is to do the things you’re good at. Nothing will make you feel better than excelling in something that you’ve committed to.
- Though building up true confidence can take a long time, it never hurts to project confidence even if you’re not feeling it. Stand tall, keep your head up high, and look straight ahead of you instead of down at the ground. Keep your hands at your sides, leaving yourself open to possibilities instead of closing yourself off from new interactions. The more you “fake it,” the more likely you are to feel it.
Be accountable. It’s important to be accountable for your actions and for the past mistakes that got you to where you are today. Once you own up and recognize the places where you went wrong, you’ll be able to move forward more quickly. If you insist on blaming the world for 100% of your problems, then you won’t feel like you have the means to go about fixing them. If you’re accountable for the negative aspects of your life, then you’ll feel accountable when you earn the achievements and the positive goals.
Don’t be too hard on yourself. Though it’s important to be accountable, it’s equally important to treat yourself with care and forgiveness. Everyone makes mistakes, and you shouldn’t think you’re a failure or a loser just because you went down the wrong path. Treat yourself with sympathy, kindness, and compassion, and you’ll see that it’ll be much easier to move forward. If you’re down on yourself, it’ll be nearly impossible to feel confident and positive, and this will keep you from achieving your goals.
- Being self-critical is not the same thing as blaming yourself. Critique is helpful – it’s looking at why you do what you do and seeing whether something else would work. It’s sorting out the problem. Blaming yourself is just pointless self-torture, you’re already in pain but that’s not going to motivate you to do something different. Blaming yourself or others leads to a vicious cycle where it can all happen again. If it’s happened more than once, really pay attention to that possibility.
Apologize to anyone you’ve hurt. It’s important to right old wrongs before you can fully move forward. Think about anyone you might have wronged or hurt during your downward moments. Make an effort to apologize to those people, in person or in writing, and to tell them how sorry you are for what happened. They may not fully forgive you, or they may not believe that you’re really going to change until you prove them wrong, but this is a step to making a change for the better.
- It’ll be harder to move on if the guilt about hurting others is weighing you down. Though it may be hard to make a clean break from your past, apologizing to people you’ve hurt is a step in the right direction and will keep you feeling strong.
Help others. You may feel like the last thing you are capable of is helping another person when you can barely get your life back in order. But if you feel ready to stand on your own two feet and are in the throes of your comeback, take a moment to slow down and reach out to a person in need. This could be a friend who is having an even harder time than you, a neighbor who is feeling lonely, or even an adult who needs help learning to read at your local library.
- Helping others will not only make a difference in their lives, but it will make you see that you do have a lot to offer to the community and the world at large.
Face what you have lost. This takes a bit of courage to begin with but the freedom you gain afterwards is tremendous. By facing what you have lost you begin to realize what is truly important in life because you are being truthful with yourself and that is a very powerful thing, you also begin to take much better care of your needs because of it. It also sets you on the right path to gain.